Parental Alienation and the adverse effects it has on the family unit and our society as a whole is unfortunately an issue which all too many of us are familiar with and can relate. I intend on compiling a detailed article on the subject matter outlining an explanation of Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome and to what degree it is referenced in the Diagnostic and Statistical manual of Mental Disorders or DSM-5.
I also intend to describe in detail my own personal dealings both with those who tried to alienate me from my father as a child, my personal innermost feelings on being alienated from someone I loved as a child and how I feel personally today as I am alienated from my own children and have been for over 10 years.
In the mean time, I thought I would share a quick article as copied from my personal Facebook page in response to a picture which I just received of my oldest daughter, Leesha Dawn Tenn.
I just received a memory via a Facebook friend and old girlfriend, Katya Valdez. Katya found and shared with me an old picture of my 1st born daughter, Leesha Dawn Tenn born February 28, 1988. As a result of Parental Alienation I have not seen Leesha Dawn in over 10 years.
The last time we spoke Leesha wanted me to visit her on campus at U.C. Davis. Leesha had just left the world renowned Berkeley University where she had been attending for several years and moved to the University of California at Davis.
U.C. Davis is a great University but does not compare to Berkeley. I was hoping if Leesha Dawn was ever going to change schools from Berkeley she would have chosen Stanford, certainly again recognized as one of the best Universities in the world.
Leesha Dawn is gifted, she is very intelligent, not because she is my daughter, she is just one of those people who always preferred to sit and read a book in solitude than play with dolls and such. Leesha held a record for never missing a day of elementary school ever and when in High School she was put right into a junior college. This, rather than attend high school with her peers. In that Leesha was so academically gifted the little town in which she resided, Oroville, California paid her tuition and all of her expenses to further her education.
I remember when Leesha and I first spoke of her attending a University. I went out and purchased a book on all of the Universities located in the United States, The encyclopedia of University’s. We sat down and looked at all of her options and spoke of her future. She wanted to take the book with her after our visit, as a male, I of course was only allowed the Standard Daddy Issue (SDI) Parenting time of every other weekend so even though I wanted to play a greater role in this decision, I agreed it best that she continued to review her options. That was the last conversation we had on the subject.
I of course love all of my children equally. I have fond memories of certain points in time in our life, unfortunately they are too few. Not because of my memory but because I made bad choices on who to mate with. Of the 3 children I have, Leesha is the only one of my children who ever resembled me at all, as a young child people often said we looked like twins and of course I saw and proudly acknowledged that yes, we do look exactly alike, she was a mini-me.
All parents have special memories of times together with our children, things that they may say or do… I of course am no different, my most memorable quote? “I wub you daddy” although Leesha said it many times I will never forget one particular point in time when I was helping her transition from a baby to a little girl and she looked at me with her big beautiful brown eyes and said, “I wub you daddy”. Of course when our children say even the simplest of things, some of them make lifetime memories, this was a lifetime memory moment for me.
The last time I saw Leesha, I believe was on the Campus at the University of Berkeley, I made the drive, she gave me a tour, she was majoring in Psychology and minoring in Sociology, she did not know it but that was also my major and minor when I went to college.
Some of our favorite family times were our annual skiing trips. We had a place at Lake Tahoe, California. We have skied at many resorts, I have skied everywhere but as a family our favorite resort was definitely Heavenly ski resort and we spent every Christmas through the New Year skiing at Heavenly ski resort.
Even though Leesha spoke of wanting me to be there and I certainly wanted to be… I was never allowed to see my daughter graduate from Davis University, I was heart broken. Is this part of being a parent? Certainly there are times when our children, either knowingly or unknowingly will break our hearts. I don’t know why Leesha changed her mind but I feel strongly that it was a result of actions taken by her mother, Becky Harrison. Becky Harrison promised to alienate me from my children and she made good on that promise.
I of course do not know as I am the alienated parent, as such I have no communication at all with my children. I still send birthday cards, Christmas gifts and more but I never receive a response. As I understand it, Leesha Dawn is a possibly a manager in some Psychiatrists office maybe in Chico, California? I also understand that Leesha Dawn was recently married…
Of course again as the alienated parent I was not told of any boyfriend, engagement, plans to get married and I certainly was not invited to her wedding. Her husband did not ask me for my daughter’s hand in marriage, I did not walk my daughter down the aisle and I did not give my daughter away. I did not have a father-daughter dance with my daughter I will assume some other guy did…
I was however present when my daughter was conceived. As a divorced male and a court order of false allegations, I could not always be there for Leesha. If I could have been, I would have seen, guided, protected and loved her each and every day of her life, but this was not allowed. I was however always there when Leesha was ill. When Leesha Dawn was in the hospital I only left her bedside when her mother visited with her boyfriend for a few minutes in the afternoon. I was always there for her, no matter what she was told and it was not easy. Imagine loving your children with all that you have, every part of your being, every thought on your mind every day all day is with concern for your children but you can not share at all in their lives. This Parental Alienation does have a most adverse effect on every facet of not only the alienated parents life but certainly that of their children and of course it adversely affects our society as a whole. I will write much more on this and the statistics in my up coming article.
I would like to state however that as a matter of record men, we should always stand up for each other in matters such as this. We have a say in matters of parental alienation. I have had girlfriends with children and I made absolutely certain that I met the father and he was comfortable with me. I NEVER took on the role of father even though there were times when it was pushed on me, I am not the father and care for the children as much as I did, I never took anything away from their father. THAT is the difference as far as I am concerned from a good step-father/man and all of the rest.
This is a very strong point in life for me, I have zero respect for and often speak out about the actions of so-called men like Kurt Russell. He may play the role of a hero in the movies but in true life, he in my mind he is a ZERO. He could have and should have stepped up on behalf of Bill Hudson the ALIENATED father of Kate and Oliver Hudson. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that knows of Bill Hudson and his efforts that he was loving and willing to share in the lives of his children. Kurt Russell could have and should have said, “No, these are not my children and their real father wants to play an equally active role in their lives and I believe he should be allowed to do so”. That is what real hero’s do #KurtRusssell.
And #GoldieHawn has the audacity to call herself an activist for children’s rights?She should have started her activism at home…
In closing… In our family we always had a special way of telling each other that we loved each other, we wrote, ARANF. That meant, Always Remember And Never Forget, Your Daddy Loves You!
So Leesha Dawn, if you should ever see this, ARANF, I WUB YOU!